I’d like to think I have a great sense of humor, but I can’t really tell a joke that well; I’m far too analytical. In any case here are a few things I’ve heard in a while:

Teacher: “if two brothers go around claiming that they’re plumbers what are they?” (In terms of social class)
Student: “Iconic video game characters!”

Teacher: “Keep this accounting textbook and look at it often and remember me.”
Student: “I SHALL READ THIS TO MY KIDS FOR BED TIME STORIES. They’ll be so smart!”
Teacher: “That’s overkill.”

Teacher: “so most children of illegal immigrants do not know that they are illegal until their parents sit them down and tell them th-”
Student: “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”

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