Originally, this was going to be a post about advent wreaths and how my parents took over the workshop.

It’s not. It’s about weaknesses in my heart, and how with the simple addition of friends – good friends mended the broken holes.

For the longest time I’ve been “lonely” literally trampled on by people. I was bullied once but when they saw I could fight back they never attempted again. Instead teenage angst saw a weakness they pursued.

All I wanted was some friends who were true friends and would invite me to parties, have inside jokes with. Instead I heard about their parties and how I should have been there but was never informed or invited. And all of their sadnesses confided in me then they run off and go with their “real friends”.

High school was a difficult time for me, I tried so hard to be in, but I was always left out. Boys exploited this weakness. And in response to that I kept sane, and morally right when the only refusal I ever gave was “No,” then they’d run off and find some other, taller, prettier girl and not tell me we had broken ways.

I confessed all this while out of high school – to a high school boy that encountered the same problem and he mended me telling me that:

“A lot of people respect you, but you don’t even seem to respect yourself.”

It was what I needed to hear, then the words:

“I would invite you, but you’re so busy being a grown up. I know it’s tough being eighteen living at home with your parents waiting on the day you can leave and everybody shaking their heads at you thinking you could do better in life. It was mostly your decision they shouldn’t hold that against you, but they do.”

They then promised me that I was welcome and loved if I ever came back, even if the teachers saw me and shook their heads, at least four people would be happy to see me still here, still waiting, still growing up. And then they’d have mixed feelings, sadness, and joy, because they knew I needed to get away from this place, but I due to circumstances I stayed.

God works in every aspect of my life, although originally I detested staying and getting stared at with shaking heads, it also makes me happy to know that post high school. There are still some friends that really do care, even if they are a few years younger.

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