Healing and acceptance

I’ve done a whole lot of growing up this past year or so. To the point where I understand when it’s time and a good moment to let go and still love.

Even with all of this healing, I could not attract a person who I thought I truly needed in my life. We hold a candle at arms length to each other but the realization that it’ll be nothing more is slightly heart breaking but at the same time beautiful.

Whoever he chose is what he chose, and thankfully, although shy with my words and choices, I’m okay with it. If he didn’t like my awkward self to the point where I’d have to change to be with him then he’s not worth it. Maybe one day he’ll look back and realize but right now isn’t the time. I need to support him where he goes regardless of how I feel.

Right now he’s happy I’m awkward, in happy I’m awkward. I’m happy about a lot of things right now because I’m beginning to learn how to walk through my past and present with fewer difficulties knowing full well that people love me for my awkward and shy self. And that one day, that guy will walk into my life and tear it up and suddenly I’ll realize that being my awkward and shy self was what he needed in his life, nothing more, nothing less.

Love and luck!

-Mem

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