I was met up by somebody who hurt me very badly. The same one whose been hurting me for the past few weeks.
“I miss you, what I did was wrong. I want to make things better.”
Deep in my heart, I knew I needed to hear it. I wanted him in my life, I knew he couldn’t be. I wanted to play devils advocate. I promised to Skype him this weekend so we can talk about what happened between us.
What ensued was a temper that came from me. I suddenly became very closed. Self defensive. I was terrified, I wanted him in my life, but he hurt me once and a month doesn’t just change somebody forever. Regardless of who they were before.
I could not bring myself to trust him enough to talk to him normally. He grew frustrated, angry even and decided that he needed to break off the contact. Perhaps to protect me, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
I don’t exactly know what the right words for me right now are. I know for a fact I’m still healing, and he’s going to move on breaking young girls hearts with broken promises and taking what’s most valuable to them.
Or maybe he’s going to stop his ways and wonder how I’m doing, where I’m heading?
The Skype call never happened, as you can gather. As disappointed as I am about it. I’m not the one who lives with the regret of a loss that never should have happened. I’m the one who never should have responded back in the first place.
It hurts, I wonder what it would take to get rid of this pain?