Recently

These days have been difficult and shrouded in a mist of apprehension, fear, and darkness. I have been hiding out a bit, hoping and praying that the darkness seizes me.

I have been growing up in that darkness but I realize that I have a light within me. My heart trembled at the thought and a little stream seeped out of me.

It’s possible that I too can matter, that I too can take care of myself alongside others. I just have to trust myself to do so.

Everyday I struggle with my self esteem and self-worth, but today I was told that: “a warrior is two things: a fighter and an artist. You lose one side and you lose your fight.”

My voice and my hands have been hidden for so long, mental blockages keep them from moving. I’ve lost my battle and I’ve been losing the war. I feel vindicated now that I understand where my anxiety stems from.

I was told I need nature, I need to explore. The hummingbird needs flight and when she flies she glows.

And maybe while she’s glowing somebody will notice her, care for her, and realize that as battered up as she is, and as much as she’ll fight it. She deserves love all the same.

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