“Mem, you need to hear this.”

I sit down across from a man I barely know. He looks at me calmly.

“I have the feeling that if you were in a plane that was crashing, you would be the person to make sure everybody else is buckled, but in the end you will be the only one dead. Your mind is wrong, your heart is right. You need to find that balance of self-respect.”

I remember an episode of xxxHolic, where the main character loses his eye to a spider and another fetches it for him, only to meet the one-eyed character there. The spider comments on the self-sacrifice and that it’s stupid for him to sacrifice everything because he matters to others. Regardless of what he thinks of himself he matters to at least one person.

I matter enough to somebody to tell me he knows I struggle everyday. He ends the conversation with.

“You’re a brilliant girl, you do so much for everybody else but you neglect yourself.”

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