Connections

I woke at 2315 to a phone call: “hey turn on your skype!” Amused, I did.
On the screen was a one-year old baby taking his first steps and clapping for me. He is my cousins child, I’ve never met him and am so blessed to be part of this moment.

A little fairy tale

Once upon a time…

There was a dark-eyed dreamer who drew her dreams on her notebook papers in class. Everything about her was dark – dark skin, dark hair and she hated it. She hated it solely because her heart was filled with light that would not shine through the darkness.

Now there was…

A bright-eyed boy who wrote letters in class. He believed in love, world peace, but most importantly happiness. He hated the darkness; he always believed that life would let light shine through.

She did find…

One of his letters on the ground. She are up his words, pulled the hair out of her face and smiled. Maybe with the letters guidance her darkness would go away -forever. Oh how she dreamed that she would change.

He did watch…

Her from afar and thought that she – even with her darkness – was the most beautiful girl in the world when she smiled. But he vowed to never let her know he existed until she found him herself. He left letters everyday, watching her darkness fade away and the light in her heart shine through.

Little loves

I skyped my family for the first time in three months and saw my little loves, my dogs for the first time since I had left. They were the last things I saw when I left home and the first things I see when I log on.

My own dog. The one that hates everybody but me tried smelling for me, looking for my voice, scratching at the leg of the computer desk trying to reach me.

It feels great to be loved and missed.

Changes

I am now nineteen and I’ve flown around the world and done things many people only dream of. I’ve managed to make people laugh, cry, smile, and get frustrated. I myself have found myself in those situations. In the past few months I’ve done a lot of growing up, realized what pain was, and held onto those I cared about. They held me up when I needed it the most.

The past few months have been a complete struggle for me. There was no moment where I never asked myself if I should quit now and leave, go back to who I was. There were moments where I pretended I was okay but I really wasn’t. I kept telling myself that people prayed for me and knew I could do it but I kept falling down and struggled to get back up. People helped me up, but I kept getting scared and forgetting my own strength. But despite the fear I smiled and found humor in the situation.

“Mem, you are resilient and that will be your greatest ally in your life.” Says a man I truly respect on the last day I was there. The changes are now set forth, and suddenly I feel lighthearted and stronger.

In my moment of weakness I found myself. I found humor in any situation that was given to me and spread it like an infection in an environment that tended to crush souls. Humor doesn’t transfer well on paper, but, at least it sticks in memory forever.

It never mattered who I was or where I came from, what I wanted to be or what I ended up doing. I’m living, breathing and supported by friends and family.

I’m now nineteen years old, still wondering about my future but now feel secure enough to let God lead me. I have a better understanding of myself and I’m still learning. My life and possibilities now seem so endless.

Justin Bieber

For years I’ve prided myself in not knowing who Justin Bieber was. I just never cared.

Today my older sister woke me up with one of his songs and at first I was unimpressed by his lack of vocal range. Then she showed me his face and some stories about how he was supposed to be aborted and how he treats his sister like a queen.

I think I’m in love with the person, not the artist.

Everybody Bleeds the Same

A few years ago, I walked into a store and found a CD I fell in love with – Ferras

 

 

One of the songs, highlighted above really touched me. The words just emanated and suddenly it became a theory I lived by, “everybody bleeds the same” we all have the same hurts, we have the same fears, we have the same genetic make up.

 

I kind of accidentally forgot this artist, the CD was lost in an intercontinental move and my iPod never contained it. When my iPod broke and in total angst against Apple (I had lost all of my songs). I went through the hard drives of all of my computers and found the saved files of this artist.

 

This was the first song I heard, and then I remembered the significance of this artist. I also remembered where I got the phrase: “Everybody bleeds red blood” The Connest words of faith (from my story; the Connest are an elite militia). White on red became a significant factor in my novel and listening to the words: “We’re the same mistake, packaged differently.”